There are several reasons to why this addendum is to be published. Firstly, it is because events have happened since the first blog was published, chiefly I am now in a relationship. Secondly, I wish to clarify and rework some of the ideas and language that appear in the former, as I am now older and wiser. Thirdly, I simply wish to return some of my original thought back into my Xanga page, as the Facebook "note" editor is generally unfriendly. Therefore this blog will only be published here on Xanga With that being said, let's get to it.
Point 1: (First of all, I believe we have not become increasingly picky to whom we choose to marry. However, our pickiness has shifted. Instead of focusing on the more traditional values, such as morals and personality, we have chosen instead to value body measurements (i.e. 'hourglass' figure) and income. I have reason to believe it is not just men who are physically minded about the relationship.)
I stand by this statement. I still believe that our values have shifted from the inner beauty of morality and calm temperament to outer, fleeting beauty such as income and physicality. Especially in the times we are living in now, the person's income is becoming much more lucrative than it has in the past. There is still hope in that our values are slowly going back to the conservative inner beauty, but I do not advocate that we enter relationships based solely on what the person's inner beauty is. There still has to be a physical side to the relationship or whatever high-minded ideals one holds to will be usurped by the basic, carnal need for physical beauty. This just cannot be the primary drive for the relationship.
Point 2: (Secondly, I believe the widespread epidemic of pornography has contributed to this fundamental shift. Both genders have porn for their tastes and perversions. This form of adult entertainment has fueled the lust for physically attractive sluts with no background in morality. As a result, most of these sex based relationships end in divorce. It's no wonder why: the exterior was pleasing to the eye, but the interior was corrupt and disgusting. I mean this in both the physical and spiritual sense.)
Again, this statement is still all too true. We have personal fetishes that to some extent can be fulfilled by a strange woman (or man) performing truly dehumanizing actions. This goes back to the basic desire to conquer all things. It's a statement of power expressed through our sexuality. I don't need a fancy degree from a famous university to understand this basic observation. However, I would like to alter one statement. I have changed my mind that pornography has done this to us. That is a cop-out excuse. No, I believe it's society's acceptance of pornography that has helped cause this rot.
Point 3: (Thirdly, as a society, we have discarded hard work as a means of obtaining what we want. Dating and marriage are serious commitments, but many people are treating these as short term relationships. I applaud those who go against what is being preached in society, who stay celibate until their wedding night, and who cherish the old values. But to those who follow what the world says, I have only this to say: I can only feel pity on you. There is only ruin and sorrow for those who choose that path.)
This point has been proven far too many times in human history, most recently the current recession and the fallout from that. We are, as a rule, a voyeuristic country, as evidenced by our obsession with pornography in all forms. We simply don't want to do any real work for ourselves. We just want to sit back and watch other people do our work for us. This, above all else, is the primary root for our self-destruction. We are uncomfortable with what real work does. It changes our attitudes and our way of comfortable life. Real work is challenging to both body and mind, and these 4 month marriages and 50% divorce rate just prove that we don't like to do real change.
Point 4: (Fourthly, I believe it is our duty to uphold the sanctity of marriage by returning to the older, more conservative views of marriage. I am not suggesting arranged marriages, only marriages that have a chance of lasting "until death do us part". As for dating, I believe it is for those who can handle a mature relationship, where significant trust is endowed to both parties. Again, I do not endorse spewing your entire life story and deepest and darkest topics. Unfortunately, many relationships cannot be considered even that. Physical and psychological abuse happens primarily because of the focus on physical beauty.)
Possibly my most controversial point, and one that needs to be explained in much more detail. I hate divorce. It ruins households and destroys lives, but in some instances it is better than the current relationship. I hate to say it, but most of these instances can be avoided. It boils down to communication. You have to be able to communicate your needs and feelings in order for the relationship to work. It requires hard work and time for relationships to bloom and flower. Going with the plant analogy, the strongest of plants have deep roots that go down for several feet, while the weak weeds go down about an inch or two. The roots of a relationship need to be big and strong in order to support it, or it will fail and die shortly. That being said, if we returned to older, stricter laws concerning divorce, perhaps people would think before the decided to get married. It would be harsh, but strict definite change in the positive direction can get rid of a good portion of these absurd relationships.
"Therefore, we have shifted fundamentally, for husbands abuse wives, wives abuse husbands, and I do not even have the heart to speak of what happens in dating relationships. Unfortunately, this is now a commonplace, and is even glorified in pornography. This new way of thinking is eating away at our very moral center, and we as a people, worldwide, will be as shallow as the very people we lust after."
Summary: If our nation made a concerted effort to move back to absolute morality, our relationship issues would pass soon after.
Thank you for reading. Comment here or on Facebook.
Y/o
